I am just me

I Am Just Me

I am just me, and that's the the square peg squishing into round holes
and sometimes
tired

I am just me, and that's sandpaper set to a soft object
working something to death,
no need for delicacy

I am just me, dirty fingernails and all, dirty from scraping and scratching at the dirt
looking for treasure
always the possibility of treasure

In me
Around me
In Others
In my Lover
In my Family
In my Feet
In my Mind
and
In my Soul

I am just me, dirty coffee mug my Ganesha
worshipping in a temple of laundry piles and unpaid bills
believing in that thing that has no real name

And crushed.
The weight of that thing crushing, and grinding
(and biting off my tiny toes)
and with the weight of it
I
find
that if I
move just so
I can inch myself out
from underneath

Careful, too much of a shift can cause irreparable damage
move too quickly and I'm broken,
not breathing,
but slow,
slow,
inch by inch, I find

I am smarter than the Unameable Thing that crushes me
I am aware that it is made of Solid Matter that others don't see
But Solid Matter
(and this matters)
Cannot Think...

I can.
I am just me with the scrappy power of a schoolyard girl a little tired of being made fun of
I am just me with the reserve and resolve and commitment to a cause
I am just me with the power to shave armpits!
The power to dig dirt and pull at grass and conquer nature with my
chemical hair color

I will not be held back
by the things that make me say,
"I am just me."

Because "I am just me," is MORE than enough to Create Life, Dreams, and Solid dirt that does not need to be moved ever again.